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LISTEN UP SALSERAS, SALSEROS HAVE IT TOUGH

I sprayed the last half of my Brut bottle on (because I am a guy getting ready to go dancing) and put on my shiny dancing shoes ready for another night of practicing some new moves at the club. As I walked into the room I immediately felt this energy and anticipation to be on the dance floor with all of these great dancers. 'RAN KAN KAN' by Tito Puente started to play as I made my way over to a pretty salsera and asked her if she would be so kind as to dance this song with me. " Oh, no thanks. I'm taking a breather on this one" she said to me. My ego dropped and I walked away wondering if anyone had seen what happened.

You see, I'm pretty new to this "Salsa Scene". I've been taking lessons. I have the basics down. I have good timing and I practice combinations even in my sleep. I'm not a "pro" or anything yet, but I have enough combinations to lead a girl through a song. I just wanted to know why pretty much every girl I asked turned me down. (My cologne isn't THAT overwhelming and I'm not wringing out my shirt from sweat). Even some of the girls that are in my same group class only want to dance with the "good salseros".

And this is what I have narrowed it down to. Once girls learn to follow, even if we're in the same dance class or have danced the same amount of time, they seem to progress at a faster pace than guys do. Then, they only want to dance with guys who are their same level or better.

I found this helpful article on the internet from Edie the "Salsa Freak", and it was very useful to me in understanding the learning differences for male and female partner dancing. Actually seeing that learning curve made a lot of sense in helping me become more acquainted with my responsibilities as a leader.

The Male vs. Female Learning Curve

In partner dancing, men are usually the leaders, and ladies are usually the followers. I'm here to tell you, no matter what dance you learn; it's a longer, tougher road for the guys. They've got a lot more to worry about than their female counterparts.

Leaders, at a minimum, have to...

Learn enough moves to keep her interested.
Make sure she is comfortable, and well taken care of.
Maintain self balance and control.
Not be too light, nor too heavy.
Understand frame and body momentum
Keep his arms and feet out of her way.
Smile, and tell her how beautiful she looks tonight.
Stay on beat.
Make sure his lead is not too light, nor too rough.
Ask her to dance, and risk the humiliation of a "No", or lame excuse.
Make sure he doesn't touch her in the wrong place.
Allow her the time and space to turn and execute her moves.
Make sure just the right amount of hand-pressure is applied on her body.
Make sure he doesn't poke her with his fingers.
Protect her from bumping into other dancers.
Make sure there is just the right amount of body-momentum between both of them.
Keep the moves fluid, and working together.
Display her talents.
Display his talents.
Play traffic cop on the dance floor
Make sure she doesn't run into anyone, nor let anyone run into her.
Dance to the peaks, valleys, and hits of the music.

Followers have to, at a minimum...

Maintain self balance and control.
Not be too light, nor too heavy.
Understand frame and body momentum
Keep her arms and feet out of his way.
Smile, and look pretty.

As you can see, the responsibilities of the leader far outweigh that of the follower.

Time has passed and I am now on the dance floor for every song. I'm gaining confidence, meeting people, and I'm not being rejected like I use to. But I can remember EVERY girl who has turned me down.

So listen up ladies. Guys have an enormous responsibility. Leaders have to learn how to hold you, turn you, make you feel comfortable, know enough to keep you from not being bored on the dance floor, and make sure we're on time with the music. Give beginners respect, encouragement, and most importantly, your patience and understanding during the learning process. We will remember how you treated us later on.