YOU'VE GOT TO BE A SALSERO/A

• You tell your friends the first day you saw, learned and fell in love with Salsa
• You never listen to your car radio anymore because they don't play what you love
• All you listen is your CD's and Cassettes, not just that, but that's all your friends will listen when you go in their car
• You take naps during lunch because you went dancing last night
• You go crusing blasting the Clave in your car
• When you go to a regular club, and listen to techno, hip hop, or any other type of music, you try to find the beat of "La Clave"
• You try your Salsa moves in the hip hop/dance club with somebody that has never partner danced
• You dance in your dreams
• You wake up mumbling "1,2,3...5,6,7" or "2,3,4...6,7,8"
• Salsa lessons/club cover fees are now a permanent part of your monthly expenses
• You say you are going shopping for a new business outfit, but you are secretly Salsa shopping
• You watch anything that deals with body movement, (i.e. karate, gymnastics, figure skating, ballet) because you are trying to devise a new Salsa move
• Everything you do leads back to Salsa
• When any song comes up that you like you start Clapping the "Clave" to it
• You practice your turns when no one is looking
• After you wash your hands in the bathroom you do a basic turn before exiting it
• You lightly dance your basic when you are waiting for something or when no one is looking
• You walk on your tips everywhere because it helps you become a lighter Salsa dancer
• People do not know you are secretly practicing your footwork when they are speaking with you
• You quit watching TV
• You convince yourself you can get by on 3-4 hours sleep per night
• Would rather have Salsa than sex
• Salsa IS sex
• You have searched and found EVERY club in town
• You know who owns them, who teaches where, and how much Salsa they play at each one
• Start spending more on Salsa clothes than work clothes
• You've considered getting a different/easier job day job to co-exist with your Salsa dancing
• Friday and Saturday nights are off limits for any events because you just CANNOT miss your Salsa fix
• You can't buy enough Salsa music/clothes/shoes
• All your "former" friends have now abandoned you
• You don't even miss your "former" friends, as long as you have your Salsa
• You have met all new (better and more permanent) friends that understand you better
• You argue about how Salsa should be danced with your new friends
• Your friends and family do not understand what you are ranting and raving about
• You dump your boyfriend/girlfriend because he/she is getting in the way of your Salsa training
• When you say, "I need my FIX for the week!" you are not referring to drugs
• You cannot convince any of your friends to come with you as many times as you go Salsa dancing
• You start talking 100 mph just because someone shows an interest that you like to dance Salsa
• You went to a Salsa congress and had an information overload
• You use to be humble and shy, but now you are just very confident, loud and getting popular
• You go on vacation and instead of looking forward to seeing the main attraction, you just cannot wait until you check out the local Salsa clubs
• You extend your vacation a few days, just so you can check out a Salsa event on the following week
• You watch the MTV music awards and you don't recognize any of the new groups/singers because they are not Salsa groups/bands/singers
• You are on the web all day long visiting Salsa web sites
• You started working out again because you have to be in shape to wear those Salsa outfits, or be ready for a competition or performance
• Your shoes are worn out from spinning so much
• You start clearing space in your room so you can practice there
• You listen to Marc Anthony and start crying
• You can't imagine life without Salsa
• You start changing your online/screen names to "Salsa-this" or "Salsa-that"
• Your password is "Salsa-this" or "Salsa-that"
• You are pondering getting a license plate with "Salsa" somehow in it
• You sneak out to your car during working hours just so you can listen to a few Salsa tunes
• You pray at night and thank God for creating Salsa
• Instead of saying "Name of Father, Holy ghost...." you say "Name of Mambo, Rumba, Cha Cha, and Salsa. Amen!"
• You install wooden floors in your house because you prefer them over carpet
• When buying a house you make sure they have wooden floor
• You get stopped (at work, in a grocery store, in the mall, etc.) by random people telling you that they have seen you dance
• The only time you rest in the club is during the merengue breaks
• You can only stand merengue for a few songs
• Nobody wants to go shopping with you because all you talk about is how that would look so good in the Salsa club
• You get desperate to practice and you dance with an "imaginary" partner
• You start to travel more just so you can see Salsa somewhere else
• For your birthday, you ask for something related to Salsa
• For your birthday, your friends buy you something related to Salsa
• You get a few friends together and the first thing that comes to mind is casino rueda
• You are looking for a wedding dress that you can dance Salsa in
• You use to have other hobbies
• You have bruises from all those dips, flips, tricks, pretzels, etc
• You walk into the club and everyone there is like family to you
• Your idea of a good first date is to go Salsa dancing
• Heaven is having lots of space on the dance floor
• Hell is a place where there is no Salsa
• You take something that has no relevance to Salsa dancing, but somehow you manipulate the conversation to end with Salsa
• You have engaged in long-complicated discussions with another dancer over the "one" and the "two"
• You decide that going out Salsa dancing is more important than studying for that big exam
• You lie to your boss and tell him/her the reason you have to fly to Los Angles/New York/Miami or Puerto Rico is strictly for business (yeah, Salsa Congress business!)
• You get caught by your boss surfing the Salsa sites during working hours
• You did the "death-drop" move and never came back up
• You decide the only man/woman you will marry has to be a Salsa dancer
• One of your pet peeves are cumbia dancers
• Club owners love you because you bring friends and promote his/her club
• You don't pay to go to clubs anymore, you get in free everywhere
• Salsa Bands know you by name, or Salsa-name
• When performing they ask you to go on stage to show people how it's done
• You bust out some Salsa solo moves when waiting in line to use the restroom
• You have Salsa music on your answering machine
• You sing Salsa songs in the shower
• You own at least 2-3 Salsa instructional videos
• You are on one of those videos
• You do your leg workout earlier in the week so you can have "fresh" legs for your Salsa weekend
• When they tell you "Do a CBL" you know what it is because you now speak Salsa-Code
• You consider immigrating for Salsa
• When you had a bit too much to drink, you fight with yourself over the "1" and "2"
• When you tell your friends : "I'm going out this weekend" they already know you are going Salsa dancing
• You leave the club at 3 a.m., completely tired from dancing all night, and you get stopped by the cops because you were swerving on the road. When the cop asks you to perform the "walk", you start busting out your FREESTYLE/SHINES